Amanda fled the camp as fast as she could without attracting attention. She couldn't stand it anymore. She was furious and disappointed and hurt. The sight of Carlos fawning over that skinny bitch was sickening. Almost as bad was how most everyone seemed to think it was just fine, and now even her so-called friends--or at least allies--were jumping on the bandwagon. ("Leave it alone, Amanda,") she thought mockingly. ("Get over it, Amanda." Well, fuck you all!)
(And Harry thinks he's so fucking smart,) Amanda thought as she stormed off into the jungle at the edge of the beach. (Ethan is playing him like a banjo and Harry doesn't have a clue.) She didn't know what their ultimate goal was, but it was clear that they didn't give a damn about her. They just wanted to use her to further their own ends. Screw them, too!
Angry at first, Amanda stormed along with little thought for her path. The anger faded and she slowed, her eyes tearing up and her lower lip quivering. She felt a crying jag coming on and she was glad to be far enough from camp that no one would see or hear. Amanda reached a small clearing in the jungle and sank down into a pathetic huddle and let it out.
She sobbed and howled and screamed and beat her fists against her knees or the ground. Before she was done, she felt hoarse, exhausted and strangely empty. It was an ugly, painful experience--and a little frightening. Even as she wallowed in self-pity, some small part of her marveled at the depths of rage and fear and pain she felt.
Amanda came to herself crouched in the clearing, arms around her knees, rocking herself gently and feeling...lucid, as if she had awakened from a dream. For the first time, thinking over her behavior for the last few days, she recognized what everyone had being telling her. She was obsessed with Carlos. She was practically stalking him!
(Small wonder everyone is turning on me,) Amanda thought. (I've been a complete ass.) She might have followed that thought to it's logical conclusion, except that that was when she heard the voices.
[Amanda] Heart of Darkness, Pt. I (no tag)
(And Harry thinks he's so fucking smart,) Amanda thought as she stormed off into the jungle at the edge of the beach. (Ethan is playing him like a banjo and Harry doesn't have a clue.) She didn't know what their ultimate goal was, but it was clear that they didn't give a damn about her. They just wanted to use her to further their own ends. Screw them, too!
Angry at first, Amanda stormed along with little thought for her path. The anger faded and she slowed, her eyes tearing up and her lower lip quivering. She felt a crying jag coming on and she was glad to be far enough from camp that no one would see or hear. Amanda reached a small clearing in the jungle and sank down into a pathetic huddle and let it out.
She sobbed and howled and screamed and beat her fists against her knees or the ground. Before she was done, she felt hoarse, exhausted and strangely empty. It was an ugly, painful experience--and a little frightening. Even as she wallowed in self-pity, some small part of her marveled at the depths of rage and fear and pain she felt.
Amanda came to herself crouched in the clearing, arms around her knees, rocking herself gently and feeling...lucid, as if she had awakened from a dream. For the first time, thinking over her behavior for the last few days, she recognized what everyone had being telling her. She was obsessed with Carlos. She was practically stalking him!
(Small wonder everyone is turning on me,) Amanda thought. (I've been a complete ass.) She might have followed that thought to it's logical conclusion, except that that was when she heard the voices.
OOC: to be continued...