crossing_lostrp | [Ami] Day 11: Tending Open Wounds (tag Mara,open)

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[Ami] Day 11: Tending Open Wounds (tag Mara,open)

OOC: Bumping from [Lucy] Day 11: Making Her Escape due to maximum comment/replies reached.

Edited 16 May 06 to add: Maximum Posting Limit of 75 has been suspended for this thread.

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Ami ducked into Mara's shelter as Tommy and Jon made their way to the cookfire area. As they departed, her stomach grumbled a bit, reminding her that she hadn't eaten yet this morning. Tommy and Jon were too far away without shouting for them, and shouting might disturb Mara and she wasn't willing to leave the young woman alone. She figured she'd suffer through for a while longer; it wasn't like she would die of starvation in a few hours time.

Kneeling by Mara's bed, she hesitantly reached out and placed her hand lightly on the woman's forehead. Dropping her shields just a bit, she focused solely on Mara, wincing again at the rents and tears in the woman's shields. Beneath that, she was disturbed, and mentally and psychically exhausted. Ami wasn't connected to Mara the way she was to Megabyte, Mara not being a Tomorrow Person, but she thought she would try to reinforce the woman's shielding a bit anyway. The worse that would happen was nothing and the best was that Mara might sleep a bit easier, even if Ami couldn't take away the horrors she'd already experienced.

It took a few minutes of concentration, and Ami felt a wee bit more tired herself when it was done, but she'd managed to connect with Mara on the very surface and reinforce her shielding – filling in some of the gaps. It wouldn't hold for long, a day at the most, but hopefully it would give the other woman some comfort.

Done with what she could do, Ami leaned against Mara's bed and waited for Tommy and Jon to return.

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When Scott connected with his sphere, a ripple of pleasure pulsed through Ami as Scott's awareness flooded through her. She looked up at him, smiled suggestively, and managed to restrain herself from jumping him right then and there when she felt his desire peak almost to the point of climax. Reining herself in, she lowered her head again to continue the rain of kisses and licks down his torso.

Ami didn't stop there, determined to kiss every single inch of him that she could, working her way slowly down his legs to his feet, teasingly caressing him with her wet hair when her fingers were otherwise occupied. Scott's concentration faltered a few times, and each time she withdrew her attentions just enough for him to steady the connection with his sphere. This time, however, Ami wasn't interested in teasing him to the point of insanity; she didn't even choke off their link; she wanted him to be aware of every move that she made and she wanted to be aware of every sensation that he felt.

Her lips and tongue worked their way back up his body as she placed herself between his legs. She kissed him, then licked him, trembling with excitement when Scott released a low moan; when she took him in her mouth, his concentration shattered completely and the next few moments were sheer torture while she didn't move at all, barely deigning to breathe until he reconnected with the sphere. Ami worked very slowly and deliberately, the sound of Scott's gasps and moans, the feeling of his hands tangled in her hair, and the awareness of what he was feeling sending a fire into her center and raising her own ardor.

Squirming in anticipation, the bath of kisses moved upwards again, as she slowly stretched her body over his, shivering at the feeling of skin-against-skin. Their mouths connected again, deep hungry open mouthed kisses that left them gasping for air while his hands branded her skin. Somehow, through it all, Scott's concentration held, the dual awareness of one another spiking the desire that flowed along their link.

Ami broke away from the kiss, but Scott was undeterred. Unable to kiss her mouth, he settled for her neck, her shoulders and (ohgodyes) her breasts, while trying to hug her body back down to his. She held steady, barely, mostly because she was a quivering bundle of need and every touch of his mouth, teeth and tongue pushed her just that much closer to the edge.

/Concentrate,/ Ami told him before shifting and slowly lowering herself onto him. Scott's concentration wavered, then steadied although it didn't particularly matter for too much longer. Once they began moving together, everything else around them became a blur and there was only the drowning sensation of the other, bodies joined and rocking, moans and gasps filling their ears and then sheer, blissful ecstasy.

Scott's feet were cold. That sensation tugged his hormone-addled mind back toward reality. He gradually became more aware of his surroundings apart from Ami, who lie partially beneath him equally delirious.

(Wet.) He was soaked from head to toe, his legs from the knee down were in the stream, and a few blades of grass were itchily stuck to his face. Scott raised one hand to brush off the grass, but froze halfway. His skin was dark. Too dark. (Oh shit.)

/What?/ Ami asked muzzily.

Scott squeezed his eyes shut. (This is so not the day for this.)

/The day for what?/ They were both nearly cognizant now.

/Remember that body switching dream?/

/Yes./

/I really hope we're dreaming./

Ami scrambled out from beneath him, then started laughing. "You're absoutely daft. Open your eyes, silly!"

Scott relucantly did so. He was dismayed but delighted to discover that they both were covered in mud. He flopped onto his back in the soft, wet earth. "Oh, thank god!"

Scott's dramatic collapse onto the grass, coupled with his relief caused Ami to dissolve into a fit of absolute laughter. She knew that it was probably partly the stress of the day finding another outlet for release, but whatever the case, the laughter was welcome, and before it was done, tears streamed down her cheeks and her sides were beginning to hurt.

At first Scott merely mock scowled at her, then eventually he joined her, and prolonged the laughing fit with generously applied tickles and random silliness. By the time their laughter died down, both were panting, but both were also feeling considerably more relaxed and calm.

"As much as I want to stay out here with you -" Ami began.

"I know, we can't," Scott finished. He used a mud caked hand to smooth her hair which pretty much only resulted in transferring mud from his hand to her hair.

Ami stood, and grabbed Scott's hand, trying to tug him to his feet. "I'd kiss you, but you're rather grubby right now. Let's get washed off, shall we?"

"Yes, let's," Scott agreed in an over-the-top British accent, which got him pushed into the swimming hole. Scott surfaced laughing. "Violent much?"

Ami hopped into the water. "Only when necessary."

The couple found two more ways to put off returning to camp: making sure each other was completely mud-free, and drip drying in one of the few sunny spots.

When they'd run out of excuses, the pair got dressed and walked back to camp. Just after the treeline was in view Scott felt a hint of the gloom settled over the camp and put his shields up. He caught Ami's eye, suggesting, /After we check on Mara, I think we should find River and Ripley. Ripley's probably okay still, but I don't know about River./

Following Scott's example, Ami threw up her shields as well, agreeing, /Yes, she was keeping near the treeline, as far from camp as possible. I'm not sure if she's still there, but at least she seems to have some psychic self-defense mechanisms, but Mara .../ Ami let the thought trail off knowing that she wouldn't have to complete it.

Enough time had passed that the camp was falling into a normal pattern, with somberness and grimness padding beneath it all. Dr. Pierson, Ripley, Carlos and George were working on the raft and small groups were huddled about talking. Ami squeezed Scott's hand and they headed in the direction of Mara's shelter.

From her sprawled position on her back near the opening of Mara's shelter, Faith heard footsteps approaching. She cupped her hand over her eyes, and squinted up into the sunlight at the hazy and backlit figures that she recognized as Scott and Ami.

"Yo," Faith greeted them, sitting up and rolling her neck and shoulders a bit. "She's still sleepin'. Probably best thing for her, huh?"

"Probably," Ami agreed. "Has she stirred at all?"

"Not a peep," Faith informed the other woman. "You think she's gonna be okay?" Her genuine concern and worry about Mara was another one of those things that was 'new' to Faith. Somehow, she'd taken the sensitive psychic under her wing and couldn't help but think of Mara as the younger sister that she'd never had.

Ami hesitated, then gave a shrug. "I hope so. I'm not even sure how it affected her. I just thought she might need someone to look after her."

"Yeah," Faith shook her head. "I'm real good at fightin' stuff, but something like this – I'm kinda at a loss."

"It's good that you're here for her. Sometimes that's all a person needs." The look that she gave to Scott made Faith smile; it was pretty clear that those two likely could survive anything together (Sorta like Buffy and Angel, 'cept without the whole turning evil when getting laid bit. And without the being a vampire bit.)

"Yeah, I'm starting to figure that out," Faith said quietly.

After checking the snares -- nothing yet -- Tommy returned to Mara's shelter to check on the young woman. Faith, Ami, and Scott were talking quietly outside. After exchanging hellos Tommy asked, "How's she doing?"

"Sleeping like a baby still," Faith supplied, giving Tommy an appreciative once-over yet again. Just because he played for the other team didn't mean that she was going to stop looking.

(Why are all the interesting ones taken, gay or hung up on someone else?) Unbidden, a few memories of how she'd spent yesterday afternoon sprang to mind, and Faith was glad that she wasn't the blushing type.

Ami gave a gasp, and Faith looked at her curiously, wondering why the woman's eyes widened as she hurriedly turned to Tommy and asked in a rush of words, "Did - did you find Lucy's note?"

"Did you know her well?" Faith asked softly, figuring that would be the only reason to look for her note.

Scott blinked rapidly from the surge of surprise and chagrin from Ami. "Did - did you find Lucy's note?" she asked Tommy hurriedly.

(What note?)

Faith added, "Did you know her well?"

Tommy was still recovering from Faith's eyes raking over him, Ami's gasp, and the sudden questions. "Um, no," he told Faith. "I didn't. Ami thought there might be a note, and there was." He widened his gaze to include Ami and Scott. "Just a list of who should get her belongings. Nothing about the 'perps.'"

"Perps?" Scott and Faith echoed.

Tommy nodded grimly. "Mara felt a lot of what Lucy did. She said that there might have been one or more people who drove her to... you know."

Mara slept without dreams and felt like she woke a moment after closing her eyes, but there was a weight off of her now that she felt immediately. She felt a little gasp, and slowly opened her eyes. Her face and eyelids felt sticky and sore from so much weeping. /It's not even MY pain. This sucks. I feel like some bullying jerk just took a giant peanutty crap on my soul./

Voices outside, two of which skipped a beat in conversation as she came to and started getting her bearings. /Oh wow. Um./ Four of them.

The storm of emotion washing over the beach was now beating futilely against windows inside of her head that hadn't been there when she collapsed before. She could still sense the pain, but it didn't hit her. Lucy's humiliation and impotent rage still sat like a grotesque gift inside of her, but not having to deal with both problems at once was a relief.

She realized what they were talking about, and swallowed a small lump in her throat. It would be time to face the music in a few minutes about the things she'd blurted out.

Faith felt the first flames of anger that she'd felt in a good long while. She hadn't even known the woman, Lucy, but she didn't like the idea that someone could have played the sort of mind games or manipulated the woman enough into seeing suicide as the only way out.

"What sort of sick fuck would do something like that? Isn't there enough to worry about on this rock without some sick shit like that?" Faith growled, clenching and unclenching her fist. Then, remembering Mara inside and Ami standing right next to her, she tried to rein in some of her anger, although it wasn't directed at anyone nearby, it was still potent.

It was telling that she hadn't asked how someone could have been driven to suicide, what sorts of things people could do. She knew, she'd done a few of them, thought of a few of them, and had the opportunity to witness more than a share of the rest of them while growing up.

Inside the tent, Mara sighed and sat up slowly. Faith was going to explode when she discovered why Lucy had been driven to kill herself. First she would explode, and then she'd probably start talking about removing someone's balls.

But Mara had a better idea. It was karma, really. She was walking around with it boiling in her chest, and all she needed was a way to give it back to the ones who had done this to Lucy. Once that was done, she'd be free, and he--or they--would be punished appropriately. Until they had to stand before God, anyway.

"I want to make him feel what she felt," she said aloud. The sound of her voice drew Orrie, who had been sleeping on the mat-covered floor. The puppy yapped and tried to scramble onto the cot with her, nearly tipping it over in the process.

Faith's anger was actually a welcome reprieve and distraction from the feelings, thoughts and images that Ami had caught a glimpse of just moments before, particularly the images. There were certain things that she just didn't need to know, and definitely not in Technicolor.

Even more welcome was Mara's voice calling from inside. She sounded steady, of course Ami had no idea how she sounded before she went to sleep.

She turned and poked her head in the shelter, giving Mara a smile. "Good to see you up. How do you feel?"

Mara's comment of 'I want to make him feel what she felt,' hadn't gone unheard. Ami simply wasn't certain how to respond that just yet.

Mara gave Ami a wan smile, and didn't answer right away. "Thanks for the storm windows. Are you and Scott and River okay?"

"We're all managing. It's you I'm worried about right now."

Mara scooped up the puppy and gave her a long snuggle before answering. Then she looked up.

"I feel like Lucy did before she went into the water. I know why she killed herself. Not who, or even why they did it, but the /feelings/. The...sensations. And I'd wish I didn't...except that the only way to give her justice is to give these feelings back to the one that dealt them." Her eyes filled up and spilled over as she spoke.

Feeling lightheaded and sick, and still like she needed a good scrubbing, she said softly, "When I said...I wanted to know what sex was like? This wasn't what I meant."

Scott was very, very glad that he was shielded from the others' emotions. Ami's were enough all by themselves; not overwhelming, but potent nonetheless. As Ami spoke with Mara, Scott turned to Faith and Tommy. He said quietly, "If we can be certain of who drove Lucy to suicide, I think that Mara's suggestion is spot on." The mere thought of a person capable of such a thing made him grind his teeth.

OOC: George and Carlos are coming from here. (http://community.livejournal.com/crossing_lostrp/68675.html?thread=2316355#t2316355)

George decided that now was as good a time as any to talk to Faith, so she led Carlos in that direction. Before she got there, Ami and Scott returned and were deep in conversation. Then Mara appeared from within the tent, looking tired and drawn. George and Carlos were just in time to hear Mara's revelation.

"You know why? And someone made her do that?" George was shocked by the thought. It hadn't occurred to her that Lucy was suffering from anything more than terminal depression. "Fuck! Who was it?"

George felt a powerful urge to bash somebody. Her fingers curled around...nothing, though she was trying to get into the habit of carrying Sweet Reason with her. The cane wouldn't do her any good if she needed it and it was lying in the shelter.

"I...don't know who," Mara said hesitantly. "I only know what was done to her, and that it made her feel so filthy and trapped that she wanted to die."

The word /filthy/ made Carlos flinch slightly. He was fighting down a surge of anger at the whole damned mess and about it apparently being somebody's actual /fault/--at least in part. But the use of that word made his chest heave, and made him look worriedly over at George.

/OK, I admit that I'm coming in late, but how does Mara know this?/ "Can...you remember anything about the people that did this?"

"Nothing you want me to repeat unless you want to lose your sex drive for a week," Mara replied flatly, then sighed. "I don't know even if there was more than one. It's too overwhelming. All I know is it happened twice, and the second time was over really fast."

Carlos looked sick as the implications of this hit him.

Twice? Wow. Mara got lucky. She didn't pick up on all of it, then.

Twice that she can differentiate. But yeah, I wanted to keep the level of angst she absorbed handlable enough that she didn't turn into a dribbling mess on you guys for very long....O.o

Ami felt sick to her stomach. She hadn't picked up on the nuances that Mara did, or else she was so well trained that she was able to push them into the back of her mind before they sank in; and truthfully, she was grateful for that. Anger came from several different directions, and she closed off her shields, only keeping her link with Scott open; she couldn't handle anyone else's anger right now when she was dealing with disgust and anger of her own.

"So, on top of everything else, we got a rapist?" Faith said the word that no one else dared say aloud and Ami didn't need to be telepathic to tell that Faith was ready to go to war.

Faith, Ami realized, wasn't alone.

A chill enveloped her, wrapping Ami from her head to her feet and she hugged herself, shivering slightly despite the heat of the tropical sun. She didn't look at anyone, the sand taking on new depths of interest as she tried very hard not to think about . . . him.

"Someone is going to have to tell Daniel," Ami said simply.

"Someone is going to get castrated," Faith snarled. Without saying another word, the woman turned and stalked towards the jungle, the air itself seeming to ripple around her.

"So, on top of everything else, we got a rapist?" Faith's voice was dangerously cold and flat.

Outrage welled up in Scott. Ami's distress barely registered as he fought back the urge to find Ethan and beat him to a bloody pulp. Pain from where his fingernails bit into the palms of his balled-up hands brought Scott back to reality. Unclenching his fists, he thought, (We don't know it was Ethan. We have to be sure.)

Beside him Ami studied her feet, hugging herself from the loathing and trepidation conveyed by their link. In a small voice she said, "Someone is going to have to tell Daniel." Then Faith stalked off with a promise Scott hoped she'd make good on.

"I'll tell Daniel," Scott said, surprised by the evenness of his voice. He took one of her hands, unsure if more physical contact was a good idea at the moment, and sent as much love and comfort as he could, Something else was going on with Ami, but he wasn't going to ask what now.

Tommy was just as furious as George, Carlos, and Scott. He wanted to hit something or run or swim, *anything* to get rid of this negative energy.

"I'll tell Daniel," Scott volunteered.

Tommy caught his eye. "Blaise knows. I couldn't find Daniel, so I told Blaise that someone was behind this. He thinks that whoever it is will lay low for a few days." Although Scott nodded, Tommy could tell that most of his attention was on Ami. Her and Mara's suffering from Lucy's murder -- 'cause it was closer to that than a suicide in his mind -- redoubled his anger. "Let me know how I can help," he told all of them. His voice was soft from carefully controled ire. "Right now I need to go do... something."

Tommy didn't think about where he was going or what he was doing. A short time later he dove into the ocean. The sea welcomed him. Somehow he knew it mourned Lucy's death as well. As he twined through the ribbons of kelp, Tommy realized that it was the injustice of Lucy's death that was upsetting. She no longer suffered -- he presumed that George had seen to that -- and her body would return to the earth.

Tommy dove and surfaced over and over, each time feeling smaller but not unimportant. He and Lucy and the island and the sea itself were part of a larger whole which was healthy and vibrant and living. When his lungs burned the sea told him to stop and rest. Tommy obeyed, floating atop the ever-moving surface with slippery strands of kelp holding him fast. (It will be all right,) he told himself as his breathing and heart slowed. And he believed it.

Mara sighed. "I should tell, but I couldn't handle his reaction." She looked at her hands. The shields she felt must be Ami's handiwork protected her from the wave of horror from the small crowd, but her face crumpled with sadness at what the news had done to them.

"I just want to get this feeling out of me," she said quietly. "I'll be okay if I can just do that."

/I feel like someone's used blow-up doll./ "No, they're not real, no more than ghost fingerprints. Nobody's touched /me/," she mumbled to herself firmly, and it helped a little.

Carlos was seething. He had his arm around George and she could feel how hard he was trying to hold back his anger in the set of his muscles and the way he shook just a little. A gorgeously liquid litany of creative Portuguese curses rolled off his tongue, and when Faith made her announcement and left, he said, "I'll help you hold the bastard down!"

Which pretty much seemed to echo the sentiment all around.

"Now I'm glad I'm leaving the beach for a few days," Mara said, sitting down slackly in the sand. Her eyes were dull, and she petted Orrie absently.

Ami gave Scott's hand a squeeze, acknowledging his love and comfort. She didn't need to go there right now, and she wouldn't. This wasn't about her; it was still a good deal about Mara and keeping the other woman steady, and about finding Lucy's attacker.

"Why don't we go talk to Blaise, then?" Ami suggested. "Whomever did this is going to lie low for a few days, I'm certain, but the more people to keep their eyes open, the better."

(And I still need to check on River and Ripley,) Ami thought with a sigh. (I just need to pull it together, and hold there again.)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Ami] Day 11: Tending Open Wounds (tag Mara,open)

[Ami] Distractions, Distractions (tag Scott)

[Scott] Rude awakening (tag Ami)

[Ami] Rude awakening (tag Scott)

[Scott] Cleanup (tag Ami)

[Ami] Back to ... Grim Reality (tag Scott, open)

[Faith] Keeping a Vigil (tag Ami, Scott, open)

[Tommy] Keeping a Vigil (tag Faith, Ami, Scott, open)

[Faith] Keeping a Vigil (tag Tommy, Ami, Scott, open)

[Scott] Keeping a Vigil (tag Faith, Ami, Tommy open)

[Mara] Keeping a Vigil (tag Faith, Ami, Tommy, Scott, open)

[Faith] Okay, now I'm getting pissed (tag Mara, Tommy, Ami, Scott, open)

[Mara] Okay, now I'm getting pissed (tag Faith, Tommy, Ami, Scott, open)

[Ami] Okay, now I'm getting pissed (tag Faith, Tommy, Mara, Scott, open)

[Mara] The Messenger (tag Ami, Faith, Tommy, Scott, open)

[Scott] The Messenger (tag Ami, Faith, Tommy, Mara, open)

[George] The Messenger (tag Ami, Faith, Tommy, Scott, Mara, Carlos)

[Mara, Carlos] The Messenger (tag Ami, Faith, Tommy, Scott, George)

OCC

Re: OCC

[Ami, Faith] The Messenger (tag Mara, Carlos, Faith, Tommy, Scott, George)

[Scott] The Messenger (tag Mara, Carlos, Faith, Tommy, Ami, George)

[Tommy] The Messenger (tag Mara, Carlos, Faith, Scott, Ami, George)

[Mara, Carlos] The Messenger (tag Mara, Carlos, Faith, Tommy, Ami, George)

[Ami] The Messenger (tag group at Mara's shelter)

[Scott] The Messenger (tag group at Mara's shelter)

[Ami] Time Out (tag Scott, group at Mara's shelter)

[George] Good Idea (tag Ami, Carlos, et al)

[Scott] Good Idea (tag Ami, Carlos, et al)

[Carlos, Mara] Good Idea (tag George, Ami, Scott, et al)

[Ami] Taking a Time Out (tag Scott, et al)

[Scott] Taking a Time Out (no tag)

OOC giggles

[Faith] Burning Anger (redirect for Faith)