crossing_lostrp | [Ami] Unpretty

Who: Ami
Where: Medical Facility, Bedroom H
When: Day 23, late evening
Invited: Private: Scott
Status: Complete [Closed]

Ironically, Ami wasn't in the mood.

She had been. Once she elicited a promise from Scott that tonight they'd actually make love, she spent the evening preparing. First had come the long, warm shower and the washing and conditioning of her hair. Ami took time to style it carefully, and she liked the results. It had been a while since she'd primped for any reason, and it felt good to do it. Her giddy good mood lasted all the way until she slipped into one of her negligees.

It didn't fit the way it had two weeks (three days) ago. None of them did. During her stay with DHARMA she'd lost weight and it showed. The negligee didn't cling to curves because she didn't have the same curves she started off with. While she wasn't anorexic, she could see the shadow of her rib cage and her very prominent collar bones. Even her cheek bones stood out.

For the longest time Ami merely stared at herself in the mirror inside the armoire. Her fingertips danced lightly over bone and skin, until she couldn't take it anymore and she slammed the door closed hard enough to hear the mirror rattle.

(No wonder he doesn't want me,) the thought came unbidden and once there, there was absolutely nothing Ami could do to banish it. Carefully narrowing her link with Scott, Ami let the tears flow. She hurriedly gathered up the lingerie and shoved it into the armoire, as far back as she could. She didn't want to see the stuff again for a very long time.

Dressed in sweatpants and a sweatshirt, Ami turned off the lights and climbed into bed. She burrowed down into the blankets and hoped that her husband would forget or wouldn't be in the mood either.

Current Mood: disappointed

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From:

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Scott was in a supremely good mood as he strode back to his and Ami's room from the kitchen. Since May had cooked dinner again, he, Dean, and Sam had refused to let her clean up. She'd stuck around, though, joining in the jokes and general kidding around. Those three were a lot of fun, even though Sam seemed a bit aloof at times. Scott suspected it was only towards him, but dismissed it as part of his well-ingrained paranoia.

He was halfway there when Ami nearly closed off her link with Scott. He frowned for a moment, then grinned. (She's up to something.) He couldn't wait to find out what.

After unlocking the door with a touch, Scott entered the darkened room. Sweet-smelling shampoo and Ami's own scent lightly perfumed their bedroom. Ami didn't say or think anything, so Scott decided to play along.

Still grinning, Scott kicked off his shoes and padded to the bed. Now that his eyes had adjusted, he could make out an Ami-shaped ball under the covers. His imagination conjured all sorts of clothes -- (Snakeskin, or nothing, or almost nothing...) -- that the blankets could be hiding. Partially aroused, he peeled the blanket back from her shoulder and was surprised to feel sweatshirt material rather than smooth skin. Ami murmured, tucking her sweatpants-covered legs closer to her chin.

Scott hesitated, puzzled. It was almost as if she were telling him to go away, which made no sense at all because they'd been looking forward to this all day. After a moment he realized her intention: she wanted him to undress her. Why she'd chosen sweats was still a mystery... unless they were hiding something else!

Pouring his ardor across their link, Scott curled up behind Ami on the bed and hooked one thumb in the waistband of her sweats. Then he began slowly inching them down, savoring the almost-tingle of her skin under his hand.

From:

fikgirl.livejournal.com

Scott hadn't taken the hint. He didn't have to do this, he didn't have to go through the motions to save her ego. Ami reached down and clapped her hand firmly over his. "Stop."

"Mmm," Scott whispered, nuzzling her hair aside, "Playing hard to get? That's new."

Ami rolled over and pushed him away firmly. /I'm not playing anything, Scott. It's all right. You don't have to do this, just to soothe my ego or make me feel beautiful or whatever it is you think you're doing. I've had the pleasure of seeing myself unclothed, so I understand. So, can we please not go through the motions and just get some sleep?/

From:

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Scott gaped at his wife, utterly shell-shocked. When he finally found some words he said them aloud. "Are you really that vain?"

Ami frowned at him as if she didn't understand. She might not have; he couldn't tell with her closing off her end of their link. That and the fact that she was far stronger than he telepathically got him good and ticked off. "You lost, what, five pounds? Maybe ten? And got some white hair. BIG DEAL!" His voice echoed off the concrete wall, prompting him to lower it. "Rose is still sick. She nearly got brain damage from what those assholes did to her, and you're upset because you're not as curvaceous as you had been? Ami, I'm grateful that you're able to walk and think straight after what they put you through. Sex is trivial in comparison."

He blew out a frustrated breath. /If you hadn't choked off our link you'd have known how much I *wasn't* going through the motions./ Unsurprisingly, the mood was thoroughly killed.

From:

fikgirl.livejournal.com

Even with their link choked off, Scott's annoyance and frustration came through loud and clear. Ami released their link and then wished that she hadn't – his annoyance and disappointment and anger were so strong that it brought tears to her eyes.

"But I thought – you didn't want me."

"WHAT?"

Ami flinched from his tone, from his disbelief, from the anger she could feel rising. "I'm sorry, but you wouldn't touch me! I tried and I tried and you wouldn't touch me and when I saw myself in the mirror I thought –"

"Do you think that I'm that shallow?" Scott was good and livid now, which only made a bad situation worse. "That I would just throw you aside because you're not as pretty as you used to be?"

"No!" Ami practically yelled at him. "No, I never doubted that you loved me. I just thought that you didn't *want* me." It was clear from Scott's flabbergasted look that he didn't see much difference in the two. The tears she'd been holding back spilled from her eyes and Ami looked away, angrily batting them aside. This wasn't normal for her, she shouldn't be this emotional, but half the time she felt like she was walking on eggshells, like she didn't fit in her skin right and like she couldn’t trust what she felt or thought. This was no different.

/Look, I was wrong. I screwed up and I'm sorry. But half the time I just -/ Ami stopped, figuring there was no point in trying to explain the inexplicable emotional tightrope she was walking. /I'm sorry. I know that doesn’t fix it and it doesn’t make anything right and I've messed everything up, and nothing I say is going to make it right and everything I say is just making it worse. And I don't want to fight and I don't want you angry at me, and -/

Again she stopped, out of words, out of steam. Tears turned into sobs and Ami hugged herself, rocking on the edge of the bed and wondering how badly she'd gone and buggered things up. There was no way to explain to Scott how *right* those things felt when she felt them, no way to explain when he so easily cut her fears down to nothing and chalked them up to vanity. Maybe it was vanity, or maybe it was a true fear, Ami didn't know anymore. All she knew was that Scott was angry and disappointed, she was wrong, and it had all gone pear shaped.

From:

starborn-scribe.livejournal.com

Pure, unadulterated confusion consumed Scott's anger. Ami was being a little vain and a whole lot of insecure. Despite her explanation and their link he couldn't wrap his brain around how she could possibly think that he didn't want her.

Ami's sobs stopped when his anger had disappeared. She peered up at him through wet eyelashes, looking strangely vunerable. Suddenly he knew what to do.

Scott took Ami's hand and stood, tugging her to her feet as well. He walked a few feet so that Ami was facing the mirror. She grimaced and looked away. Scott moved behind her, loosely wrapping his arms around her waist. "Strip," he ordered softly.

Ami miserably met his eyes in the mirror. "I don't want to."

/I want you to,/ Scott replied, along with a pulse of love.

After a moment's hesitation Ami nodded. She kicked off the sweatpants first, then pulled the shirt over her head, blushing with embarrassment. After everything they'd done -- intentionally or not -- it was hard to believe that there was anything left that could cause embarrassment.

Scott didn't move other than to loop his arms around Ami's slightly thinner waist and to let his eyes take in her reflection. She was borderline skinny. Scott's body and mind didn't care. His erection pressed against her back just above her tailbone, and he made no effort to contain ardor he felt. "This is how much I don't want you," he murmured.

From:

fikgirl.livejournal.com

Ami didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Standing there starkers with her husband's arms around her, feeling his ardor both psychically and physically, she was both amazed and relieved. Scott still wanted her. Logically that made sense, but logic was warring with her emotions and her emotions seemed to want to have the upper hand.

Too overwhelmed from her emotional rollercoaster, Ami simply turned around and wound her arms around Scott. She rested her head on his shoulder, simply holding him and hugging him and letting her love for him flow. His ardor and desire flowed into her, pushing back the tumult of emotions enough for her to feel a spark of her own interest. Tilting her head up, she pressed her lips softly against his, gently and questioningly.

She wanted, no she needed to make love to him, but there would be no sex kittens here tonight. Not just yet. Ami felt that he would understand.

From:

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Something new was wrong with Ami. Her emotions were conflicting and chaotic. Scott tried to look for a physiological cause, but her emotions, her body, and his reaction to her body were too distracting. Since she seemed to physically be as well as she had before dinner and was now returning some of his attentions, Scott kissed her back.

Normally Ami would have upped the seduction ante. Tonight, though, she didn't. Scott pulled back, concerned. "Do you want to do this? We don't have to." (But I so want to,) his id added silently.

Ami grinned -- not her usual sultry smile, but a self-conscious one. /I do./ She peered shyly up through her lashes. /I'll follow your lead./

That also was odd. They usually had full-contact, no-holds-barred sex. Thanks to their link Scott knew that she really did want to make love, so he'd happily lead.

After she'd helped Scott shed his clothes, he picked Ami up and laid her on the bed. Then he proceeded to lavish her with attention in all of ways and places she most enjoyed, slowly and deliberately fanning their desire. When they were both trembling with need Ami dragged his mouth up to hers. "Now," she growled, thrusting her hips so he slid inside. They came instantly, gasping with delight.

When Scott's hormone-addled brain could think straight again he rolled so that Ami lie on top of him. He pushed her sweat-dampened hair out of her face, including the newly white strands. /I'll always want you./

From:

fikgirl.livejournal.com

Sated and content, Ami stared down at her husband. With her heart full of love and her body still tingling from their lovemaking, she leaned down and kissed him sweetly. /Even when I'm old and gray?/

Scott returned her kiss, coiling that lock of silvery-white around his finger. /You've got the gray covered and I still want you./

As they broke apart, Ami settled onto his chest, nuzzling him. /Promise?/

/Promise./ She trembled from pleasure as his hands ran along her sides and playfully cupped her buttocks.

/I'm going to hold you to that./ They lie that way for a while, content, sated and indulging in the pleasure of their touching bodies and the echoes of emotion along their link. Suddenly, Ami lifted up and peered down at him thoughtfully. /Will you marry me?/

Dark chocolate eyes blinked back at her in complete confusion. One hand climbed up her body to cup her face and stroke her cheek. Scott's voice was low murmur, "I thought we were already married. Where it matters most, right?"

"I know but - " Ami leaned into his touch then sat up, reluctantly reducing the contact between their bodies. Her fingertips traced patterns over his chest, "I know that you're not a traditionalist and that you don't care about that sort of thing, but I'd like a ceremony. Just something small and informal, right here on the island." /I know it's corny and romantic, but could we? Please? Will you marry me?/

From:

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Scott felt his Ami-giddy smile spread across his face. /Yes, Ami Jackson, I'll marry you. Whenever and whereever you want./ Suddenly he remembered the half-finished ring he'd been making for her. After shielding the thought from Ami he amended, "No, wait." Her face fell, so he kissed her soundly. "Give me a week. Then I'll marry you. Again."

From:

fikgirl.livejournal.com

(One week? He's up to something,) Ami realized, but then decided that she would let Scott have his secret – and wouldn't pry no matter how tempting it was.

Instead, she laughed delightedly and leaned down to kiss him quite thoroughly. A flicker of surprise – and appreciation – radiated from Scott and he returned her kiss earnestly as he pulled her body back down to hold her tightly against his. With so much skin touching, Ami knew that Scott was not only flattered by her proposal, but as giddy as she was. That turned the kiss from merely an affectionate thank you to something more intense and wanting.

The hunger that had been absent earlier flared to life, like a spark of fire suddenly being given an influx of oxygen. What began as sweet and gentle, turned deep and demanding as Ami wound the fingers of one hand in Scott's hair, her mouth drinking his and raising the stakes each time his response escalated to meet her challenge. By the time they broke apart, gasping for air, both were trembling and panting.

Ami gave him a sultry smile, /I'm back./

Then before he could manage an answer, she slid down his body and between his legs, emphasizing her 'words' with her hands and her mouth and her tongue.

From:

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As Ami laughed the reason for her dramatic mood swing came to Scott: rapidly lowering hormone levels. Rather than slowly weaning her off of the artificial hormones DHARMA had been feeding her, they'd stopped cold turkey. (Probably not the best idea--)

Then Ami was kissing him very hormonally in a very good way. Scott's hormones surged as well, short-circuiting rational thought. /I'm back,/ Ami informed him.

Was she ever.

He tried to say "Welcome back," but all that came out was a moan.