crossing_lostrp | [Aeryn] Who are we?

Who: Aeryn & John
Where A quiet corner in the Bunker
When: Evening, Day 28--not long after The Cold Facts
Invited: John
Status: Complete

Aeryn sighed and stopped as they had moved to a fairly quiet area of the bunker.

There were tears burning her eyes and throat, so it took her a few moments of staring off into the space behind John's shoulder before she felt capable of talking.

"What if" she reached up and wiped irratably at her cheek, then fastened her eyes on his face. "I don't think I've been honest with you, Crichton" she stopped and shook her head. "John, my name is Aeryn Sun-Crichton. And I have an unshakable feeling that we're not related by blood."

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From:

magicalelf.livejournal.com

"John?" she hesitated "Crichton? Speak to me? What are you remembering?"

John looked over at her, emotional pain twisting his face, tears standing in his blue eyes. His hands gripped the side of his head as he looked at her, unable to really comprehend what he was remembering. Remembering in flashes and broken pieces.

"A ship ..." he rasped, his voice trembling a little. "I'm ... I was on a ship ... out of control ... fighting for control ... oh God what was that ...? I hit ... I think I hit something ..."

Whatever it was vanished, like a picture winking out of existence and John sagged to his knees, bending forward to press his forhead to the ground with a soul-shuddering moan.

From:

tweets.livejournal.com

What was she supposed to do? John was nearly catatonic at this moment and Aeryn didn't really know what to do, she stepped beside him and awkwardly put an arm around his shoulder. "I..." she stopped, her memory momentarily sharpening, then fading almost like an old projector when the last of the reel ran out.

There was still the bits she did remember... and those were disturbing. But then, if he'd been her prisoner, then why was he still armed?

She let her arm drop to her side again, not even sure if her presence was doing any good.

Eventually, she cleared her throat and gently grasped his chin, forcing him to look up at her. "There's still too many questions and I think we might find answers on the ship we crashed in. If you DID crash into someone (and kill them, she added silently) then surely there will be marks of it even in the state our ship is in."

From:

magicalelf.livejournal.com

Eventually, she cleared her throat and gently grasped his chin, forcing him to look up at her. "There's still too many questions and I think we might find answers on the ship we crashed in. If you DID crash into someone (and kill them, she added silently) then surely there will be marks of it even in the state our ship is in."

John stared at her, trying to make sense of the fragmented images that seemed to by toying with him, floating in and out of his memory, not remaining long enough for him to make any sense of them. "You have my last name ..." he whispered, the pain of that evident in his eyes. "If ... if I'm your prisoner and you were supposed to kill me ... why do you have my last name?"

From:

tweets.livejournal.com

"If ... if I'm your prisoner and you were supposed to kill me ... why do you have my last name?"

"Infiltration." she stood, her face turning a little colder as her "business" face slid into being. "At least, that's my first thought."

She hesitated, then shook off the colder persona "But that's one of my more pressing questions, too."

From:

magicalelf.livejournal.com

"Infiltration." she stood, her face turning a little colder as her "business" face slid into being. "At least, that's my first thought."

John looked away as her words sent a lance of exquisite pain right through the center of his being. No, it couldn't be that. It could't have been all a lie. He remembered other things too ... moments of intense intimacy, tenderness ... her touch earlier had elicited a reaction in him, albeit a small one.

She hesitated, then shook off the colder persona "But that's one of my more pressing questions, too."

John shook his head, "No ... I don't think it was ... a lie. Infiltration." He looked back at her, his own blue eyes hard, trying to hide the hurt he was feeling. "You can be a hardass, but under that exterior ... you're tender and compassionate. I know that about you, don't ask me how, but I do."

From:

tweets.livejournal.com

"You can be a hardass, but under that exterior ... you're tender and compassionate. I know that about you, don't ask me how, but I do."

Aeryn paused, unsure what to say to this evaluation. She looked deep into those blue eyes, knowing for sure that he was hiding a painful hurt that her words had caused; despite the cold mask he was trying to project. Between some people there could be no secrets.

She looked away, unable to face the pain she'd wrought, then she looked down at her hands, calloused by a lifetime of fighting and piloting. "I don't know much about myself, John. But I know this. I'm a Soldier and I'm a pilot. Beyond that? I could be anything."

She paused again, tempted to finish there and just walk away from him. But something deep inside pulled at her, tugged at her conscience. "I know that there is one person I can be tender with" she whispered, scared to admit it. "And I know that compassion was an alien concept to me, until I met you. Don't ask me how, but I do." She shook her head, turning dark eyes on him. "The problem is, I do not know if I can make a commitment without really knowing you more than the feeling I have in here" she tapped at her chest lightly. "Without knowing you here" now she tapped at her head. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I can give you what you seem to need."

She felt weak, frustrated, scared and fragile. Wrapping her arms around herself, she watched him from across the hallway.

From:

magicalelf.livejournal.com

"I don't know much about myself, John. But I know this. I'm a Soldier and I'm a pilot. Beyond that? I could be anything."

John nodded a little, folding his arms in front of his chest as he leaned his back against the concrete wall behind him. That was how he felt too, he knew snippets about himself, vague memories and flashes of things that seemed to be really important were all he had. "Same here, Aeryn," he told her, "I mean ... I was somebody's son, and obviously I was a pilot at one time or another but ... beyond that, all I have are flashes and sparks. Pretty damn annoying, you know?" Especially with the possibility that he had killed a man. That thought made him want to throw up.

"I know that there is one person I can be tender with" she whispered, scared to admit it. "And I know that compassion was an alien concept to me, until I met you. Don't ask me how, but I do." She shook her head, turning dark eyes on him. "The problem is, I do not know if I can make a commitment without really knowing you more than the feeling I have in here" she tapped at her chest lightly. "Without knowing you here" now she tapped at her head. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I can give you what you seem to need."

John nodded, casting his eyes down, studying the floor for a quiet moment. Everything she was saying made perfect sense, in his head he knew that. They were complete strangers to one another, whatever had happened between them in the past, whatever had transpired to bring them together was gone now. He sighed and looked up and over at her. "You know ... I'm a huge believer in Fate," he said quietly, "and ... I think that when two people are meant to be together, nothing in the entire universe can keep them apart." He gave her a little smile and shrugged one shoulder, "I'm not asking you to move in with me, I'm just ... asking for a chance. A chance to see if ... we can find what was taken from us. That's all."

From:

tweets.livejournal.com

The smile he used, somewhat shy, somewhat scared, sent a warm thrill through her and she couldn't help but return it warily.

"I'm not asking you to move in with me, I'm just ... asking for a chance. A chance to see if ... we can find what was taken from us. That's all."

She hesitated, fighting the urge to make a flippant reply, fighting the urge to turn away. No, she had to face this now, before any rifts formed between them. But then something struck her about his words. "Yes, there was more taken from us, wasn't there?" she stepped closer, a frown knitting her brows "Do you get the feeling we were searching for something when we came here?"

From:

magicalelf.livejournal.com

"Do you get the feeling we were searching for something when we came here?"

John's head snapped up and he looked at her intently. He frowned a little and nodded slowly. "Yeah," he said quietly, "yeah ... I do, actually. It's hard to explain but ... but it's like I get the feeling that ... I don't know ... like something was lost. Or taken ... something ... really important ..."

He ran a hand through his hair and looked at her again, "What the hell do you think it means?"

From:

tweets.livejournal.com

She sighed and stood, gathering her hair behind her neck and then releasing it. "I think it means that we need to find out just WHAT we're missing. And I think that the ship we came in might have answers." A tiny smile of relief tugged at her lips. "And we can search for them together."

From:

magicalelf.livejournal.com

"I think it means that we need to find out just WHAT we're missing. And I think that the ship we came in might have answers." A tiny smile of relief tugged at her lips. "And we can search for them together."

John nodded and pushed away from the concrete wall, being able to do something, anything, was preferable to sitting around here contemplating the what-if's. "Yeah, that sounds like the best thing we can do right now." He gave her a smile and moved to walk beside her, making sure not to walk close enough to accidentally brush her arm. They were making progress and he didn't want to jeopardize it. He just hoped that there were answers to be found inside the wreckage, and that those answers didn't completely tear them apart.